Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Time To Get Serious Now

I am overweight.

Not by choice, mind you - - almost 2 years ago, my family doctor put me on a medicine to help with anxiety attacks I had been having. They started a year after my Mom had passed away, and that, combined with worrying about Dad, things at work and at home, losing a dear friend to a particularly nasty form of cancer, and other dear friends with serious health problems, really did a number on me. The medicine really did the trick . . . unfortunately, the side effect was weight gain.

About a year ago, the doctor tried to reduce the dosage, but apparently my body was not ready yet, because the attacks starting coming back, and they had to increase it back to my original dosage.

We also tried another med for about 6 months that would not make me gain weight. It didn't, but it also didn't help the anxiety attacks. I was ALWAYS "edgy", and not sleeping well at all; when I finally DID get to sleep, I had terrible nightmares and wake up exhausted. So we went back to the original med. *sigh*

I have been fortunate to have such an understanding spouse through all this! Dear Steve, thank you for standing by me during this time - - love you, babe! :-)

Now, here it is, another year later. For the first time in 2 years, I am actually feeling like it is time to try standing on my own two feet, and taking back control of my life. I have an appointment with my doctor next week, and I am going to tell him how I am feeling about this - - that this is the first time I have felt confident in myself and my ability to "handle things" in life, and the first time that I have felt "ready" for it.

Things in my life are SO much better than they were back when I started taking the meds. Dear Hubby Steve and I are at the best place in our lives that we have ever been. I have gotten to the point at work where I don't let all the lousy stuff bother me any more I am so blessed with the best friends anyone could have. Dad still misses Mom terribly, of course, but overall is doing well, and is getting out and actually enjoying himself with friends and family members, and some short trips periodically.

SO - - it's time. I'm ready.

AND - - another big thing I'm attempting - -

I rejoined Weight Watchers tonight.

I achieved my Lifetime Member status in October 2001, when I lost nearly 25 pounds. I kept most of that weight off ever since then. Well, there was about a 3-4 pound fluctuation that was always going on - - first I would put it on, then take it back off, but I kept off 20 or more of the pounds I had lost.

Until recently, that is.

SO - - since I am talking to my doctor next week about getting off this medicine, I also decided that now was the time to start getting those blasted pounds BACK OFF MY BODY!

I will be going to my meetings on Wednesday evenings, and will share my weekly progress with you on here. It's not going to be easy, but I'm determined to do this, and be successful.

Wish me luck . . .

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