Saturday, October 24, 2009

Okay, First Things First . . .

After my last post, I have had some people contacting me concerned about Mr. Dizzy and the "health scare" we had. So, the first thing is to fill you all in on what the situation was . . .

Mr. Dizzy has been told by his Allergist many times that his blood pressure was high; however, they attributed it to "white coat syndrome" and the fact that he always came in for his allergy shots right after a strenuous 10-hour work day. Well, back in late May, he had a pretty nasty cold and went to the local Express Care clinic. When they checked his blood pressure, it was high. When he mentioned "white coat syndrome" they said they were going to treat it anyway, and started him on a blood pressure Med. He was also told to check with his Family Doctor about it. We went to our Doctor's office the following week, with our home blood pressure monitor in hand, to get him checked out. The nurse took his blood pressure, and it was high. We immediately checked it with our home monitor . . . and it read extremely low. He had been basing his readings on what apparently was a faulty monitor! (That one has been pitched, and we now have one that works!)

When he went to our Doctor's office the following Thursday about possible carpal tunnel issues with his hands, he had his pressure checked, and it was EXTREMELY high, to the point that they would not allow him to go home; instead, he was sent across the street to the hospital and checked into the Cardio-Vascular ICU.

Imagine what was going through my head when he called me that afternoon:

Him: "Hey babe, when you get home this afternoon, I won't be there."

Me: "Why? What's going on?"

Him: "I'm being admitted to the hospital for my blood pressure."

Me: " . . . . . "

Him: "The numbers were (I forget the exact numbers, but he was a WALKING STROKE)."

Me: {Dropping the phone and running out of the office, headed for the hospital}

Him: "Hello? You there?"

I don't remember when I have been that scared. And, I think I made the trip to the hospital in record time.

I got there and found the CVU, and he was in a bed with wires and patches and machines and monitors all over him. My husband, the BORG Mr. Dizzy. They had him started on an IV drip to bring his pressure down, and it was starting to take effect. The Doctor came by and said he was going to keep him overnight and monitor his situation. I wanted to stay there that night, but Mr. Dizzy wanted me to go home and try to get some rest, and the Doctor concurred. (Rest? Right - - like THAT was going to happen).

Friday morning I got up early and headed back to the hospital and spent the day there with him. His pressure was doing much better, and it was mostly a matter of waiting for the Doctor to come around and release him to go home. That finally happened around 4:30 that afternoon, and we got out of there, picked up his new Meds, and went home.

That was our Wedding Anniversary weekend. We had made some tentative plans, but naturally, they got put aside. The main thing was getting him rested up and getting him on his Meds, which seem to be working out well for him. He went for a recheck this week, and the Doctor was pretty pleased with how his numbers are playing out!

But, this scare played a major part of my mental state issues - - I know he's fine, but . . . well, it's something I just need to work out in my head. I'll get there, but it's difficult. I just need to keep working at it. One day at a time.

More later.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

This Blog Has Been Down . . .

. . . because I have been. Now down PHYSICALLY - - but mentally, I've been better.

There has been a lot going on in my life recently that has not been good - - a health scare with Mr. Dizzy, a pending divorce in my immediate family (NO, not Mr. Dizzy and me; he's stuck with me for life. Period.), other things in life that have just piled up and piled up and piled up . . . and well, you get the picture. It finally got the better of me, and something inside just snapped. And, since the last thing I want is for this blog to just become one big "Lizzy Pity Party", it was best to just let it go for awhile. Not that it was a difficult decision to make; I have not even had the desire to write ANYTHING. About ANYTHING. At All.

I kept hoping that I would snap out of it and start feeling better about things, but that hasn't really happened yet. So, I just keep plugging away, day after day, working on getting my head back on straight. It's not easy - -

But you know what really helped me start snapping out of this funk I've been in? Well, there is a blog that I read all the time, written by Kristabella, called "
Kristabella: Full of Snark Since 1977". She wrote a post recently about what she called "The Sads". And that post really hit home with me! What she described is exactly what I went through a few years ago when my Mom passed away, and it's what I'm going through now.

Back when Mom passed away, I went to the Doctor, who put me on a med that did absolute wonders for my psyche, but unfortunately, it also did a number on my weight. That side effect is making me very hesitant to go back to the Doctor this time, and I've been really fighting to make it on my own, with the strong support of Mr. Dizzy. It's not easy, but I'm not giving up.

However, with this much stress, some things gotta give - - and unfortunately, this blog has been one of the casualties. Have there been things going on that would be good blog fodder? Oh, absolutely! Good, funny stuff, and would provide a good laugh . . . and I have had no damn desire to write about it. Not at all.

Dear Mr. Dizzy has been encouraging me to get back into writing - - he thinks it would be very therapeutic, and he's probably right. In fact, when I tell him that I've actually written THIS post, he will be very happy! But, it's going to take time, and a lot of effort, for me to get back into the swing of things. However, just the fact that I've been able to do THIS post is encouraging; I wasn't even sure if I could write anymore! But I've finally gotten my courage up and taken that First.Big.Step. Maybe the second step will be easier. Let's just see what happens. Hopefully, I'll be back soon.

And Kristabella? THANK YOU for having the courage to write about your own issues with "The Sads". Your willingness to blog about it encouraged me to find my own bravery and try writing again.