Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Bullyling (Part the Last)

What were all the affects from all the bullying and torment I had to endure over all those years? Well, let's see - -

It made me a very "closed" person, who was terribly afraid to trust anyone. This in turn led to many relationships suffering or ending because of it.

It made me be very self-conscious and afraid to try new things or do anything that would make anyone notice me in any way

It fueled my already low self-esteem.

It made me quick to take offense, and quick to lose my temper, if I feel I am being picked on or ridiculed in any way. Even if it is not meant that way.

These are problems I have worked on fixing, even to this day. Most times I can handle them, sometimes they get the best of me. It's tough.

BUT --

It also helped me see how NOT to treat people, how NOT to make people feel. I cannot stand seeing anyone being bullied, or tormented, or pushed around in ANY way. It brings back all those feelings from my own personal experiences with it, and the anger just seems to well back up. I want to stop whoever is doing it, and do whatever I can to help the person being picked on. Unfortunately, this wish to help people comes with its own set of issues - - it's amazing how much trouble you can get into just by wanting to be a good person and help others! But, it is a type of trouble I can deal with, and be able to look at myself in the mirror, and actually sleep at night. If I can help even one person overcome what they are going through, it is worth it.

I guess in the "big picture" of life, all the bullying, teasing and torment I went through while growing up made me a better person. I just wish there could have been an easier way of learning those lessons.

OH! And? The girls who made my life so much hell? I actually now get along with B, believe it or not. But J? I swore to not have anything to do with her, and I am sticking by that. I recently received a Friend Request from her on Facebook - - and deleted it. I know that like me, she has probably grown up and is a much different person. But after everything she put me through over all those years, I want nothing to do with her. That is just something SHE will have to live with, and hopefully learn the lesson.

OKAY - - enough about bullying. Now! Go out there, and treat people the way you yourself would want to be treated. And I will continue to do the same.

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